I feel your pain really deeply. Some years I’ve felt like I’m never out of the season of limitations.
What has helped me when I feel really stuck is a few things: remembering good health, and ill health, are both temporary - everything changes and will continue to; getting out into the nature I love and fully immersing myself in it, regardless of distance; and allowing the grief to come up and be felt.
Also, learning about pain science has helped in my case. Have you seen this TEDx talk by Lorimer Moseley? It sounds like you’re in this hyper-sensitive state which has happened to me being in chronic pain before. I hope it helps you, but it’s an entertaining video that will make you laugh if nothing else: https://youtu.be/gwd-wLdIHjs?si=4D_qRoJR4DEWm72w
I’m sorry for how you’re feeling. I know looking back now over three decades as a runner, our bodies go through phases and changes. And sometimes, those niggles go away on their own as mysteriously as they appeared. I’m glad you’re treating yourself with more kindness and trying to work with rather than fight whatever your body is experiencing. Take care and best wishes to you.
Thank you, Sarah. I appreciate you. I do have faith and hope my body’s in for some more positive phases and changes. It’s just been interesting to reflect on when I don’t hesitate to treat myself with kindness and when I feel disconnected from my body. Thank you for the encouragement.
Hah yes, hyper-sensitive is exactly where I’m at right now. But I’m always interested in something that’ll make me laugh and appreciate the recommendation. I’ll totally check it out. And thanks for sharing all of that. I do believe everything changes (I’m just more than ready for that to happen!) and my god, birding and getting outside has carried me through these last few frustrating months so I totally get how helpful any way to be in nature has been for you. Thanks, Ashlee. I really appreciate your note.🤍
I know this is not really the point, but as a very longtime reader I mention it as a reminder that our internal conflicts often distort reality for us: I have *always* looked at you and seen a runner. It’s so plain to me that I’m surprised you have wrestled with it. And I don’t mean that as a commentary on your body or your appearance, really — you are so clearly strong and fit, of course, but more than that it’s the way you light up whenever you’re in motion. Running is so obviously what you’re made to do. It’s plain even at a glance, and it always has been, even in the objectively unkind era of the early aughts. It is impossible not to internalize some of that, I think, but I hope you know that with you, and running, it just is. You just are. You always have been. And you will be again.
I feel your pain really deeply. Some years I’ve felt like I’m never out of the season of limitations.
What has helped me when I feel really stuck is a few things: remembering good health, and ill health, are both temporary - everything changes and will continue to; getting out into the nature I love and fully immersing myself in it, regardless of distance; and allowing the grief to come up and be felt.
Also, learning about pain science has helped in my case. Have you seen this TEDx talk by Lorimer Moseley? It sounds like you’re in this hyper-sensitive state which has happened to me being in chronic pain before. I hope it helps you, but it’s an entertaining video that will make you laugh if nothing else: https://youtu.be/gwd-wLdIHjs?si=4D_qRoJR4DEWm72w
I’m sorry for how you’re feeling. I know looking back now over three decades as a runner, our bodies go through phases and changes. And sometimes, those niggles go away on their own as mysteriously as they appeared. I’m glad you’re treating yourself with more kindness and trying to work with rather than fight whatever your body is experiencing. Take care and best wishes to you.
Thank you, Sarah. I appreciate you. I do have faith and hope my body’s in for some more positive phases and changes. It’s just been interesting to reflect on when I don’t hesitate to treat myself with kindness and when I feel disconnected from my body. Thank you for the encouragement.
Hah yes, hyper-sensitive is exactly where I’m at right now. But I’m always interested in something that’ll make me laugh and appreciate the recommendation. I’ll totally check it out. And thanks for sharing all of that. I do believe everything changes (I’m just more than ready for that to happen!) and my god, birding and getting outside has carried me through these last few frustrating months so I totally get how helpful any way to be in nature has been for you. Thanks, Ashlee. I really appreciate your note.🤍
“And, there also seems to be a growing disconnect between me and the skin and bones I live in.”
I hear that—feeling apart from yourself can be heavy, yet simply naming it is a quiet, brave kind of intimacy with your own being.
I know this is not really the point, but as a very longtime reader I mention it as a reminder that our internal conflicts often distort reality for us: I have *always* looked at you and seen a runner. It’s so plain to me that I’m surprised you have wrestled with it. And I don’t mean that as a commentary on your body or your appearance, really — you are so clearly strong and fit, of course, but more than that it’s the way you light up whenever you’re in motion. Running is so obviously what you’re made to do. It’s plain even at a glance, and it always has been, even in the objectively unkind era of the early aughts. It is impossible not to internalize some of that, I think, but I hope you know that with you, and running, it just is. You just are. You always have been. And you will be again.